Findom – The Power & The Pleasure

Mistress Nikky French

The Thrill & The Power of Findom

Of course I love money…who doesn’t! The biggest rush I get in life, far more than money or what it can buy; even Louboutins (hi hi ), is the power, control and mastery of men on a physical, mental, spiritual and yes, even a financial level. I love what I do because most of all it allows me to be the alpha female I was born to be and always have been.

My clients come in all shapes and sizes, colours and cultures but the common thread that runs through them all is a deep desire that goes to the core of who they are; to relinquish and transfer all power to a professional Dominatrix. The thrill of the submissive is allowing and more importantly to transfer that control in put it in my hands …..the Smiling Sadist! It creates an endorphin rush of hormones that is inexplicable to some but creates exquisite pleasure for my slaves. This rush can come from physical (pain or restraint), mental and physical denial (tease, chastity) and of course financial (control of finances).

In each scenario that I create, the real rush for my Findom clients is that of power transfer or exchange. For my slaves, the release from this power transfer is an erotic act of submission in itself. They are giving what makes them the person they are and all that they stand for and the act of transferring this power and dominion over them, to their mistress creates a euphoric rush that nothing else can compare with.

Financial Domination

Source: Shutterstock, South China Morning Post

It’s not everyone’s kink, but neither is corporal punishment (physical submission) or chastity (physical & mental submission). I don’t judge my clients, but rather I love developing a bond with them that allows them to express their kinks whatever they are without fear or embarrassment and to allow them to be the person they want to be.  I love my clients and all their kinks; I feel privileged that they have the confidence in their Mistress to keep their secrets safe and to explore this in our meetings together.

Findom Ethics – Yes They Do Exist!!

In the same way I respect my client’s physical boundaries (you all know my safe word!) I also have to understand my Findom client’s financial ones. I will never consider Findom with those clients who can’t afford it or if I think what they are doing would compromise their health, careers or family. Outside of this, I will take control of their finances and push them and control them as far as they want! I’m an expensive Mistress to keep, to spoil, to love and to spend time with, something that my Findom clients appreciate. They love their fast cars and Ferraris and they love their Mistress in the same way….and show it by spoiling and indulging me! I have expensive tastes and I make sure my slaves know what they are…..

Findom Psychology

Men across the world, in all the places I work, enjoy being under the control of a financial dominatrix or ‘Findom’. My Findom slaves are not ‘sugar daddies’ who just want to shower me with expensive gifts in return for a sexual pay-off. (I just won’t go there!) but for most of my clients, they don’t even meet the Goddess they worship…they just want to be my ‘paypig’ and spoil the Mistress they adore…c’est moi!!

Some slaves will sacrifice their holidays, eating out and only leave enough to pay the bills…the rest comes to me. I am their Goddess, their indulgence, their love and their wonderful obsession….

You Don’t Have to be Rich to Be My Paypig!

Being a paypig is relative to the person giving, which is unique to the financial circumstances and lifestyle of the slave concerned. For example I have paypig/students who tribute their Mistress £30 a week, which has the same level of sacrifice of a millionaire who gives me £30,000 a year. Both are important, both are paypigs, but as Pro Domme I recognize that the sacrifice and love of their Mistress is equal in every measure…..and I love them equally

My clients pay to indulge their paypig urges using I Want Clips, Amazon Gift Cards or some simply make payments straight into my bank! Many of my Findom clients don’t even want to see me in person as this would, to some of my slaves appear to make me less powerful.

Financial Domination

Source: Shutterstock, South China Morning Post

The cities that I work in are flowing with the rewards of being highly commercial and profitable global banking markets, so my Findom services are becoming more sought after. No one knows how to take control of your finances like me. Once you’ve given yourself to me, I will become your life…..and your addiction, more thrilling than gambling and more erotic than sex… style of Findom is like nothing you’ve experienced before….I dare you to try!

Bisou, Nikky French x

Find out more about my unique style of Findom:
Click Here

Essential Links For My Findom Clients:
I Want Clips – Tribute Me – Click Here
Amazon Wishlist – Click Here

My Bank Details – The Simplest & Best Way To Treat Your Mistress:
Account Name: MNF Prod
Sort Code: 40-16-12
Account Number: 61801759

The Lust for Louboutins

Louboutins Fetish

A Weakness for Red!

Louboutins corrupt the powerful, tempt the faithful and fires the passions of the most ordinary and vanilla of us.  It creates a desire in the hearts and sets the pulse racing in both men and women…a rare thing indeed. Perhaps its because the Louboutins are a simultaneously a symbol of power, dominance, confidence, wealth, style, desire, passion and above all, they just scream sex! These fabulous shoes can paradoxically make you feel sophisticated and classy yet feel like a slut when it suits you; perhaps it’s also because they bridge that fragile bridge between being totally outrageous and being the ultimate symbol of sophistication?

Louboutins Fetish
Fetish: David Lynch & Christian Louboutin

Christian Louboutin was recently quoted as saying:

“A while ago, I saw this woman arriving in my store in Paris. She was very elegant, very delicate,” he says, folding his hands in his lap and sitting upright to demonstrate her prim posture. “She put on the Pigalle” — a patent-leather pump that most buyers prefer in black with a 5-in. heel. “She walked around and said, ‘It feels great. I look like a slut! I feel like a slut!’” A few hours later, another woman — short skirt, spilling cleavage — picked up the same shoe. “But she said, ‘Oh! I look so chic, so elegant!’”

Louboutin then summed up this paradox that all of us Louboutin lovers know so well in this tale of two shoppers, what happens between the ears is as important as what happens below the ankles.

“Shoes,” Louboutin said, “are a mirror of what you want, what you are or what you’re missing.”

Rarely has a single item of clothing represented so many things to so many people; there is one common thread though… creates emotion for all that it stands for. One thing’s for sure, you’ll never be short of attention if you are wearing them…no matter what you’re wearing!

Say My Name, Say My Name!

What is it with us Frenchies?….the whole world has problem with saying French words properly…..this video picks up one fashionista that gets it wrong again! So now you know how to say the sacred word properly……no excuse for the English loubou’tins’… way to get a proper spanking from me!! (hi hi)

Louboutins – An Art Form

Very few shoes inspire and bridge the gap between the fashion and art worlds, but Louboutin is one of them. In recent years filmmaker David Lynch and shoe designer Christian Louboutin collaborated to produce a fabulous collection of erotic photography; it took the shoes to an almost sculptural level, which accentuated the eroticism of the shoe and took this to extremes, with a sado masochistic aspect to them with the women bound into the shoes.

I can only say that as a Professional Dominatrix, I understand this predicament having suffered the sweet torture of wearing Louboutins for my clients but also for the power and dominance it brings within my sessions; it is very true to say that there needs to be a sadomasochistic aspect to wearing them. Such is the love of wearing them and being seen in them, combined with the empowerment it gives me, the pain of wearing them is worth every moment of discomfort.

Louboutin Fetish
Fetish: David Lynch & Christian Louboutin

The Power of Seeing Red

Christian Louboutin once said:

“The core of my work is dedicated, not to pleasing women, but to pleasing men. Men are like bulls – they cannot resist the red sole!”

He went on to explain that he decided to paint the soles red to create something that men notice and in doing so made men to take notice, a signal that all men would know that red meant, sexy, provocative and expensive and something that would create an addiction in the male brain as much as it did for the women wearing them.

It’s something I’ve noticed on my own work; nothing stirs the passions of the foot fetish client like wearing a pair of red soles! As a foot fetishist, nothing is more erotic to them than seeing me in stockings and heels, but the sight of my red soles is something that I am very aware of and I use my Louboutins to psychologically dominate my clients; allowing them to lick my red soles and suck on my heels is almost overwhelming for some….and for some sessions, let’s just say, they don’t last as long as my client was expecting! It can only be my Louboutins; no other shoes that I wear, not matter how big the heel and how high they are has quite the same effect (hi hi).

Strangely, in my work, Louboutins aren’t just an indulgence, they’re more like an investment, which attracts new clients and helps creates an electrically charged atmosphere in the dungeon…as much as any of my other BDSM equipment!

The Price of Comfort!

Comfort for Louboutin is like being in a bad relationship! If you want to look good and you want to look beautiful, he believes there is a price to pay…..PAIN!! I can only say, I agree with him. While Louboutins look amazing and make you feel a million dollars, comfort is definitely not something that you consider when you buy a pair….certainly not for me!

Louboutin also explained the psychology of a woman buying shoes:

“When a woman buys a pair of shoes, she never looks at the shoe. She stands up and looks in the mirror, she looks at her breasts, the ass, from the front and from the side, blah, blah, blah. If she likes herself, then she considers her shoes!”

I must admit, that when I try a pair of Louboutins on for the first time, I think about how good they make me look, boost my confidence and empower me. A good pair of Louboutins have to represent who I am and my personality….I certainly have some fiery red in my character as those who know me, know all too well!!

Louboutin Fetish

High Heel Psychology

Valerie Steele of the Fashion Institute of Technology was recently quoted as saying:

“Sexual appeal (like wearing Louboutins) is power, because it is a way to get people to do what you want…..they are the prime symbol of erotic femininity”

She went on to explain that heels, especially Louboutins, inspire feelings of both vulnerability and of the heel as a weapon, something that Freud also recognized.

There is nothing like my Louboutins to bring the most alpha males of my clients under my control and my red heels crush any suggestion of disobedience…..they almost magnify and enhance my dominance. I think that potentially my Loubs are the most complete BDSM weapon I have; they trigger emotional and erotic responses that simply no other tool or piece of dungeon furniture can do.

Louboutin Lifestyle – DIY!

Anyone who’s bought a pair of Loubs will tell you that the first time you wear them is also the most stressful….as you perfect red bottoms are subjected to the harshness of walking on hard surfaces…and the horror of seeing your bestest shoes having their red soles scratched…..OMG! Many of us Louboutin lovers only keep some for the house and even just for the bedroom!…but for everyday Loubs, you have to learn some DIY to keep those soles in perfect condition…

Can You Ever Own Enough Loubs?

Diane von Furstenberg once said, in describing her relationship with her 400 pairs of shoes:

“The shoes in your closet are like friends. You have old friends, new friends, friends you forget about and friends you neglect.”

I love this quote and to me it sums up the relationship that I have (like many women) with their shoes. Shoes can make you and they can break you. Wear the right pair with the right outfits and they can literally build your business, something that’s true for me….but they can also break you…..but with Louboutins you will never go wrong!

Find out about my expert services in feet & heels: Click Here

Be my paypig and spoil me with some shoes: Click Here
(I’m a size 4 UK and 37 Euro)

The Art of a Good Spanking

Corporal Punishment Markings

Spanking – Getting Inside Your Head

What is it that puts you off being spanked? A previous experience, just the thought of pain or even simply thinking that pain can’t be any thing…..but, well, pain and could not be remotely erotic!

Many vanilla couples never take the plunge, as they don’t get to separate and understand the difference between spanking and an erotic spanking. A good old plain spanking has you running for cover and potentially calling the authorities whereas an erotic spanking has you tying yourself to a bed and immediately confessing how bad you’ve been and begging for some liberally applied and well aimed strokes!!

Discovering A New Side to Spanking

For many clients who come to me, often for the first time, tell me they don’t like spanking. It is often because their only memory of being spanked is associated with fear, often from childhood. However, with the right scene setting and taking someone into a different head-space, it can completely change their perception from thinking that spanking = pain to spanking = pain = pleasure. At this point they’re hooked and never look back.

This video on the 101 Guide to Spanking provides some of the basics on spanking:

Spanking Lesson By Mistress Justine Cross – Naughty Guide to Los Angeles TV from Sienna Sinclaire on Vimeo.

The Psychology of Spanking

Often, the very thing that affected us deeply as young people, is strangely often expressed in later life as a kink. Slightly perverse you might think, but at the same time and at a very deep level, pain is administered by those who love us and in turn we love the most, whether consensually or not.

When (consensually) we allow us to be subjected to a well-administered spanking, there is a a complete rush of chemicals: endorphins, serotonin, melatonin, epinephrine, and dopamine to name just a few. It’s the bodies way of trying to make us feel good again! The biggest feel good chemical is dopamine (also released when we eat chocolate ) which goes a long way to explain why, as those who have ventured into the world of BDSM, that there exisits that exquisite mix of pain and pleasure, often having us wanting more and more.

On a very different but similar level, it’s very similar to have a very hot curry!! There is often the pain (if you’re really going for it) of the spices on the tongue, but at the same time, it has you running back for more. It takes you to the edge but has you begging for more of the same.

The Submissive Dynamic In Spanking

I always think that at some level the power lies with the submissive, as without their consent there is no D/s dynamic.  As a professional Dominatrix, most of my clients are submissives, although where the line is crossed into slavedom is explored in another article “Sub or Slave – When Do You Cross The Line”. They choose the boundaries (most of the time! hehe) and I take them to those boundaries, but often when we get there, they want to go beyond that point, such is the world of BDSM….

So where’s the pleasure? In the same way that chemicals, particularly dopamine create that heady mix of pleasure and pain, so too does the D/s dynamic on a psychological level in the form of submission and humiliation from spanking, which in themselves provide pleasure and pain in equal measure.  It’s easy to see that the double hit of both chemical and psychological effects can have on BDSM play and why many of my clients, who once introduced into the world of spanking and corporal punishment under my expert hand, have them begging their Mistress for more!

Working Up a Good Spanking

In the same way you wouldn’t start running without a warm-up, I would never recommend starting a good spanking session with anything but light caresses, massaging and gentle/light slaps to get the blood flowing, skin prepared and your muscles relaxed – all essential things if spankee (person being spanked) is ever going to stand a chance of enjoying the experience.

How to Spank

Where to spank is incredibly important and your strokes (same for all forms of corporal punishment) need to be very well aimed. The picture below gives a really good idea of how and where you should be aiming:

Where to Spank

Increasing the Intensity

Different implements and increasing levels of pain, which in turn leave a different trail of evidence!


…..and which in turn leave a different level of afterglow!!…

Spanking Glow after Corporal Punishment

Depending on the level of expertise of the person spanking (I love all corporal punishment) and particularly in my hands, a client will often say that they only want a light spanking or only want to try spanking, but when they get that first hit of dopamine, they beg me to keep going….often leaving with a set of rosy red cheeks….just as a little reminder of the heady mix of both the pain and pleasure from our session.

Spanking – Assume the Position!!

An often overlooked part of spanking is the position of the submissive. In my Bristol dungeon my special equipment can take you to any level your heart desires! If the position is optimised (often overlooked by the amateur spanker) together with your choice of instrument like a tawse, the combined ‘position & instrument’ rating has no boundaries.

Spanking Position Ratings

Choose Your Weapon!

How you apply the discipline/spanking, including what you use, how hard you apply the force, the rhythm and combination of other instruments and techniques (like CBT – another favourite of mine!! – I’m a balls fetishist) makes the administering of spanking and all other aspects of corporal punishment a real art and almost a science.

Often combining CP and spanking with things like a rabbit fur flogger (really soft), grabbing a handful of ass or caressing it right after a strike can be almost orgasmic.

Corporal Punishment - Levels of Pain


So very important but often forgotten. At the end of a hard spanking or CP session, my slaves (and your partners) need to come down from their psychological and chemical high, which can range from a a long conversation (in a professional setting) about what worked and what didn’t and maybe, if you’re more intimate, a good cuddle and comfort food. Most importantly, both D/s should never just walk away from a scene.

Where To From Here?

If you would like me to ‘gently’ introduce you to the world of spanking and corporal punishment, then just call me to talk about your desires and book a session with me. I love working with newbies as much as I do the most experienced submissives looking to really push themselves.

My spanking bench is ready and I’m looking forward to exploring the world of corporal punishment with you!

Further Reading

Illustrated Guide – Types of Spankings

Even Cats Like a Good Spanking!! (safe word – Meow!!)

Mistress Nikky French Recommends

Dick Pics – WTF – Why Do Guys Do It?

Dick Pics – Guys Just Don’t Get It

What possess men to think that women like dick pics? Well for a start, there is definitely some altered state in the male brain that doesn’t get it. I would have thought that if a man was trying to impress me, he would certainly speak to a mistress in an appropriate manner (see my How To Speak To a Mistress Blog – coming soon). However, many would be male admirers think it appropriate that they can cut out the pleasantries and cut straight to the dick pic!

What do guys think I’m going to do when then send me their finest? Do they honestly think that I’m going to get hot under the collar and send a shitload of emojis showing my excitement at seeing a veiny dick in HD pop up on my iPhone screen? WTF!

I am finding that I am getting increasing amounts of dick pictures. I really don’t think that the male brain really engages itself. One things for sure….send me a dick pic and you’ll never see or hear from me again!

Some guys think (or rather don’t think) that I’m somehow going to be whooping with delight if I get some random image of their dick. What do they expect me to think? Thanks for the introduction, I can’t wait to meet you?! Then, when I thought things couldn’t get worse, they seem hurt and surprised when I don’t respond and say things like ‘Well didn’t hear from you, I guess you aren’t impressed?’

Well….I’m not….grrrrr

The Difference Between Men & Women

As a professional dominatrix, I’ve observed a fairly basic difference between men and women when it comes to why, perhaps men think it somehow appropriate to send dick pics…..fairly unscientific but here’s my basic theory…..


When women are aroused by members of the opposite sex, it is mainly a brain thing. That is where the stimulation comes from; whereas the male of the species, in a more primitive fashion, thinks with his dick and disengages his brain. So basically, dick thinking makes total sense to a guy when he sends dick pics.

Some men…..they’ve barely crawled out of the swamp!

What Women Think of Dick Pics

The video below shows the typical reactions of several women when exposed (as I am monotonously) to dick pics…

Source: Wickydkwel

What Men Think of Dick Pics Sent to Women

When exposed to dick pics sent to women, these men were just as horrified…. (click on the ‘source’ link below)

Mens Reaction to Dick Pics

Source: Boldly

Dick Pic Revenge

Revenge is coming to a place for all those dick pic posters….there’s an app called DickPicLocator that can help identify those who have sent the images.  Name and shame is here already.  Watch out boys!

Further Reading

18 Women Explain Exactly How They Feel About Dick Pics

Why Men Send Pics of Their Junk

Mistress Nikky French Recommends (to control male urges)

Christy Mack Booty Textured Fleshlight Girls Butt

The Perfect Way To Put On & Wear Latex

No More Tears & Tantrums


Like me, you’re probably seduced by the look and the sheer, sultry sexiness of the classic latex catsuit and instantly reminded of the sleek elegant lines of characters like Catwoman. I have to confess, that I’ve always loved the fantasy and sensuous feeling of latex, but the reality of both wearing it and getting on…..well it’s something else

There are times when I have felt like declaring war on latex. The air has turned blue and at times, anywhere within three metres of me has been a no go zone! If’ you’ve ever tried putting on latex it can be a complete nightmare and then just to add the finishing touch, you end up tearing your favourite outfit……I’ve had many causalities over the last few years and I’ve kept some of my outfits in the hope that one day I might be able to repair them.

Hear are the options, I’ll let you decide on what you think is best……

Techniques & Tips For Putting On & Wearing Latex


So…technique number one. Have you got your gas mask (yes your heard it correctly! – need to avoid breathing in chlorine gas ), heavy duty rubber gloves, hydrochloric acid (mind you don’t burn a hole through your hands now) and bleach. So, no visit to the hospital yet?…Well it’s dangerous, fiddly and apart from that it’s an OK process.

Once you’ve avoided death and injury, you have a latex outfit that is as smooth as silk and easy to put on….BUT…’ve now changed the molecular structure and as a result it weakens the structure of the latex and is hard to shine. For all of those real latex lovers who love the sound that latex makes: well, it disappears. Oh, and by the way, only do this on new garments and older latex year may disintegrate.

Apart from that it’s a really great way to put on latex but you might find your favourite latex gear doesn’t last that long.

The video below shows some of the dangers and process for the chlorination process and preparing your latex garment for wear:

Source: Nason Tackett

Silicon Lube

Traditional silicon lubes are definitely easier to use and definitely gets round some of the dangers of chlorination, but it also presents some different challenges. Firstly, not all silicon lubes are created equally. Without doing your research, I know many latex lovers that have found that while the silicon makes getting your favourite outfit on really easy, they then discover that some silicones actually start eating the latex, unless it’s latex safe of course.

If you know your lubes well though and there are some really good ones out there.  They’re easy to find and fairly cheap, but there are some further challenges ahead! Many silicon lubes often become very sticky and start drying out after about an hour and you find that the latex can start sticking to itself and to your skin.

Removing your latex can then often involve having to jump in the shower to help unstick the latex. It’s definitely easier and has more benefits from chlorination but its far from perfect.

Baby Powder

Baby powder. It’s the original way of helping to get your latex or rubber outfit on. It’s great for absorbing moisture and amazing for storing and keeping your latex in good condition if you’re not wearing it for a while….but…’ll quickly discover that using baby powder not only involves lubricating your latex, but also decorating your floor, your furniture and anything else in close proximity to you!

The other downside is that the baby powder dulls the shine and if you get hot and sweaty (that’s inevitable with latex) you will often have to deal with white marks over your outfit.

It’s certainly cheap and it’s still used by tons of people who love latex. The video below shows Carrie LaChance using the baby powder technique to good effect.

Source: Carrie LaChance

There’s A New Show In Town

I was recently approached by PJUR to review a couple of products for them. They were PJUR Cult which is a dressing aid and PJUR Ultra Shine which was for buffing up and shining your latex ready to go out in.

I must admit that at first I was a little skeptical, having tried both the silicon lube and baby powder approaches already and to be honest, I thought that this would be just another product that did basically the same thing.

Well I have to confess, I was wrong!

The geeks at PJUR have invented a product called CULT which has been designed as a dressing aid to overcome all the downsides of the old techniques that I’ve explained above and also offer all the benefits of them….and more. I have to say that having tried the product, I’m completely addicted to it. It isn’t the cheapest product to buy and it also comes in a fairly small bottle, but OMG it transforms the whole experience of wearing latex. I just love it.

No more stickiness, mess, problems with latex compatibility, it doesn’t dry out and just a small amount will last a whole evening, even if you’re playing hard! On top of that it’s made from natural products, is allergy friendly and is just a complete joy to use and put your latex on.

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, the Ultra Shine just adds the final touch of magic. The shine that you get couldn’t get any better and just finishes your outfit off.

Would I recommend these products….yes… a heartbeat. I’ve already said goodbye to my baby powder and silicone lubes….watch my review below on the two products. Hope you like it!

Source: Kink Your Life

Further Reading

Latex Wiki – Everything You Need to Know & More
Model Mayhem – Great Tips & Advice for Latex Lovers

Mistress Nikky French Recommends


pjur Cult Dressing Aid 

pjur Cult Latex Shiner



Don’t forget you get 10% discount with my code NIKKYFR10 on all Lovehoney website

BDSM – What Makes A Good Slave?

Line of Slaves & Mistress

It’s Not What You Think

Source: Photographer, Steve Klein

Where Slaves Go Wrong

Many newbies or even seasoned slaves seem to think that what a Mistress wants is a fully compliant, powerless person who is willing to kneel before you and prostrate themselves at any cost….not even look you in the eye or speak until spoken to..

There are times when I demand and expect it, but I also want a client with personality, a sense of humour who is polite and a real gentleman…..and more importantly that the slave understands the difference between the two and when I expect it. I don’t want a pathetic walk over, I want to have a proper dialogue and some fun….only if I allow it. I’m also not looking for a best friend either! It’s really very simple….the dungeon should be a place to express yourself, be yourself, have fun…..but always remember to do what I say

It’s Very Easy – Just Be Yourself

Even though this seems simple, there are many slaves who just don’t get it!

The best rule I think to follow is just be yourself and don’t let dungeon behavior be influenced by fantasy or fiction. I like a good conversation, but equally I like a challenge, with real emotion and intelligence. So what do I really look for in a slave?

Conversation would for a start, not be just about BDSM or even saving the world, but good straight forward discussion. I like to know what makes you tick, how creative you are, give me feedback during a session so that we can explore and you can push yourselves.

Honesty……seems easy, but so many slaves tell me what they think I want to hear, or what they think they should do or sometimes embarrassed to tell me about what fetishes they like. Well I’ll let you into a secret….I think I’ve heard nearly everything, so my dungeon should be a place where you can explore and talk about your hidden fantasies because if you don’t tell me you’ll only experience a fraction of what might be otherwise open to you.

When you’re in my dungeon, use the time there as an adventure… discover yourself and hidden parts of it or to express yourself in way that you can’t anywhere else and take the time to try new things, new sensations and enjoy and savour every moment of it.

The other thing to remember is this…..I will get it out of you anyway (hihi)….I have my means, so just tell me anyway. I’ve heard just about every fetish, every fantasy and seen every shape and size of most things. More honesty = better BDSM experience….it’s that simple!

The more basic things are also where many slaves fail……things like speaking appropriately to your mistress, turning up on time or even being clean (so sad I have to remind slaves of this!).

Lastly, communications…..this if for the men…..please don’t send d**k images to me….it doesn’t do anything for me, they’re definitively not sexy and it’s a one way ticket to being banished from my dungeon….and yes, I won’t respond!

This sounds like a lot, but really a good slave just needs to be themselves….honest, polite, self-confident and have a sense of humour, with a touch of adventure……and do take the time to read about me before calling…..otherwise you could be off to a bad start!

Further Reading

Communications Protocol With a Mistress (great advice)
Club Femdom House Rules for Slaves (severe, but you’ll get the picture)
The Rules of Etiquette (written by a sub client)

Mistress Nikky French’s Recommended Slave Essentials



CBT – Just Remember I’m In Control!

CBT – The Pain, Pleasure, & Ecstasy

You may have heard that I’m a balls fetishist…..well it’s true and it’s one of the specialties of the laughing sadist….hihi

It is one of the most common fetishes from my clients and a fetish that has so many dimensions and for many men it delicious mix of pleasure, pain and ecstasy combined with the anticipation of the unknown.

The devices and techniques are really only bounded by the imagination. Boundaries and the dynamics of control can be taken as far as you want to be pushed. I love the control that it provides and gives me complete domination of a situation.

For many, this is a bit of a ‘Marmite’ fetish….you either love it or hate it, but all I would say is that you don’t know until at least you have dipped you toe in the water

As far as fetishes go, its not in the same league as spanking or foot fetishes, but it’s certainly more popular. On Fetlife the CBT membership is over 16,000 and the spanking group is over 55,000.

If you really want to get into CBT, there are classes and workshops all over the country, mainly in sex shops or dungeons and usually in the bigger cities. The best thing though is to reach out to the BDSM communities as a first step as there’s always help at hand.

Source: by Eve PSK


There is a whole ménage of devices like harnesses, cuffs, parachutes, cages, ball stretchers and even the humbler, plus of course chastity, which for some clients extends beyond pure play. All I would say that CBT is an exploration and in the process you will find your weapon of choice! There is a whole range of toys and devices available and it will always spice up any BDSM session. I will be covering the various devices in a future post as well as the techniques listed below


This can include wax play, spanking, ball busting, tie and tease, urethral play, e-stim. There is no best technique. As you get deeper into CBT many people find that what was once a ‘no-go’ area, the extremes of emotion and pleasure and pain may push their boundaries way beyond this point.

Psychology & Technique

It’s probably the most important dynamic of CBT play…maybe about 90% of it and what it in many respects unpredictable. Knowing when to play hard and when to play soft makes CBT a real mind bender for the recipient and you have to know when to switch from one to the other…..and only I know when….this will always be kept a secret for me and the dungeon. Hope to see you there!

Further Reading

Cock & Ball Torture – Part 1
Cock & Ball Torture – Part 2
Wiki – Cock & Ball Torture

Mistress Nikky French’s Recommended CBT Devices



Mistress Nikky French’s CBT Videos

Check out my videos including CBT

How Well Do You Know Your Stockings?

RHT Stockings

5 Main RHT Styles

Like many people I thought that the world of stockings was a simple one. How wrong I was; I found that many of my clients actually knew more about stockings than I did! In the process of understanding the fetish and all its aspects, there’s a whole world of complexity out there.

FFNs & RHTs – Know The Difference?

So what’s the basic difference? – Any guesses?

So, the main difference is that FFNs (Fully Fashioned Nylons) don’t have any seam as they are knitted on a circular sewing machine, whereas RHTs (Reinforced Heel and Toe) are what for many are the sexiest types of stockings, with their distinctive seams.

I have to confess, that it wasn’t until I started speaking to a good friend of mine, Noa, who loves vintage stockings that I realized that RHTs also have at least 5 styles which you can see in the image below…

These tiny details are missed by many but loved by any fetishist. I would love to know what you favourite style is…..let me know in the comments box below and maybe I’ll wear some just for you in one of my next photo shoots!

Stockings, Pantyhose & Tights

Prior to the 1940’s stockings were made of silk or rayon and then came pantyhose, which first appeared in the 1960’s as an alternative to nylon stockings. They were marketed as being more attractive in appearance, hid more imperfections, reduced panty line and eased the friction between the thighs and feet and heels.

The main feature though was that there were not any suspenders and they were self supporting up to the waist.

However, depending on where you come from, particularly the US or the UK. The difference between the two is made slighty more complicated as in the US, what are called pantyhose is referred to as tights in the UK, which is the US means ‘opaques’

To make it even more confusing, you’ll find some Americans see pantyhose as stockings as similar things (you can even see this on some Instagram accounts) and as as a further twist, the US refers to holdups as thigh-highs and suspenders as garter belts!  I’ve also included below some of the equivalents and differences in other languages:

Stockings (Translations)

Pantyhose(US)/Tights(UK)/Collants(France)/Collant(Italy)/ Strumpfhose(Germany)

Pantyhose (Translations)


The Art of Putting On (& Taking Off) Stockings

Like me, most stocking lovers have often wrestled with putting on stockings and for some inexplicable reason, you always seem to ladder the most expensive pair on the most important occasions.

Over the centuries, women and fetish lovers have realized that that practicalities of putting on and taking off stockings can be a sensuous act and even an art form. Any burlesque performer would agree with you here. If done well, you’ll capture the heart of your lover or your audience and have them spell bound before you’ve even started.  Here’s a modern take in a retro style that I think you’ll love…..

….and of course, if you really want to impress… have to know how to take them off too…..

The Top 10 Stocking Wearing Countries

As a French woman….with a British heart, I always thought that the UK and France would be the countries where stockings were most worn. Well, I was only partly right, and quite shocked too.  The results are in:

  1. UK
  2. USA
  3. Canada
  4. Australia
  5. Sweden
  6. Germany
  7. Norway
  8. France (shock, horror – OMG!)
  9. Ireland
  10. Singapore…..and for my Swiss clients….Voila! at No 18 is Switzerland

I’m not surprised in some ways as my UK clients are true feet, heels and stockings fetishists, but the French and Swiss positions are very surprising as they love their stockings just as much.

Further Reading

Wikipedia History & Technical
How Stockings Changed the World – 75 Years Ago

Mistress Nikky French’s Recommended Stockings


Buttplugs For Beginners

MEO Anal Rings

Buttplugs – Take It Easy & Enjoy The Ride!


Taking Your First Steps

So you’ve decided you want to explore anal play but don’t know where to start…well a good place is butt plugs.   Maybe it’s part of a D/s relationship or part of the dynamic with your mistress, or perhaps you’re just plain curious.  Either way you have to start somewhere!

I find that many of my clients have never experimented because of the taboos about anal penetration.  Yes, religion still dominates societies thinking, even if we don’t consider ourselves religious.  Other clients are simply curious and want to discover the pleasures of anal penetration and perhaps to discover the elusive male G-spot.  For those men that don’t believe they have a G-spot, I’m here to tell you that you definitely do have one…..just don’t be shy about trying to find it!
Being anally penetrated is a very intimate experience and for many men and women it definitely takes you into a submissive state of mind and not to mention, for some it adds a level of humiliation.

Apart from real size queens, the secret to enjoying anal play, like most of the good things in life….is to take things very slowly and build up to a level that is comfortable for you but also maximizes the exquisite sensations that only anal penetration can bring.

Being uncomfortable is one thing, but pain is another!  Discomfort is often just the right side of pleasure but anal pain… don’t want to go there….for many reasons.

Stretching Out

Many people ask, how long will it be to be able to take ‘x’ inch diameter plug/dildo or even a fist?

Firstly, it is not a race   The process of stretching out for larger toys as part of anal play is a very personal one.  Various blogs and forums will say that people have managed to stretch out from ‘a to b’ in only ‘x months’.  The reality is that for most people into anal play the process of stretching out, particularly to takea fist may take years.  Not fast, but an immensely pleasurable journey and of course a safe one too!

At the end of the day, the anal sphincter is a essentially a muscle so to stretch it out and basically train it, you need to keep it under tension as much as possible so that over time you start to open.

Some of the best anal stretching rings you can get are the ones made by MEO which allows you to very gradually build up over time, stretching up only when your current ring is very comfortable.  The diameters range from 40mm to 95mm, so there’s something for everyone.  These rings are really for the next steps, only after you’ve got used to smaller diameter plugs.

Source: 5-inch-and-more

Also, it doesn’t just have to be about stretching for the sake of it; it might be as a warm up for anal sex, which can transform your perception of anal penetration which then makes the whole experience totally one of pleasure and certainly no pain.  The mistake that many people make and what puts most people off anal sex, is that the act of penetration is not preceded with any type of warm up.  Most of the people I have spoken to as a Dominatrix and who say they don’t like anal sex because it is painful, is usually down to the this reason alone.

Buttplugging For The Beginner

The easiest buttplugs to start with are tapered ones, so you slowly allow the sphincter to stretch.  The materials you choose for your first plug, particularly for a pleasurable first experience as a beginner, is important;  otherwise like many you may never return to explore the devine pleasures that anal play brings.
The main materials are to select from most sex toy stores/sites are :

• Rubber
• Silicon
• Latex
• Steel/Metal
• Glass/Plastic

In my experience, the best butt plugs for beginners are the softer materials like rubber, silicon and latex, as they are pliable and forgiving, exactly what you need if you are just starting out.

The process of insertion should be slow and the choice of lube is important (remember – don’t use silicon lube on silicon toys).  My professional lube of choice (I hardly use any others now) is PJUR, especially PJUR Back Door anal lube which is amazing because is relaxes even the most inexperienced person for easy and relaxed anal play.  Some clients have even said it is better than poppers!  It’s non allergenic and doesn’t irritate (like some water based lubes), it’s made from natural products (Jojoba) and you only need a tiny amount for long lasting play.

So you’re ready to play……right size buttplug, right lube.  Take it slowly and take it easy and most of all don’t rush things.  Keep the first session to between five and twenty minutes and don’t over-do things.

Just remember men……don’t give up……your G-Spot awaits you……yes,  you heard it here……you do have one….and anal play is the way to find it

Further Reading

Kinkly – 8 Tips for Choosing A Buttplug

D/s Relationships – Buttplugs for Training & Pleasure

Mistress Nikky French’s Recommended Beginners Buttplugs & Lube



Don’t forget you get 10% discount with my code NIKKYFR10 on all Lovehoney website

Bonjour Bristol! – Le Bristol SM Studio Opens

Bristol’s Latest BDSM Studio

Bristol BDSM DungeonIt’s new, it’s been custom built and it’s ready for you! – Yes!, Mistress Nikky French has just launched Bristol’s latest (and best ) BDSM dungeon, 250m2 !!!!  The first dungeon (yes, there will be more than one!) has opened its doors to the first clients who’ve found the venue impressive.  When fully refurbished in the next couple of months, the dungeon will include:

  • Mistress Nikky French’s Personal Dungeon
  • Gothic Dungeon
  • School Room
  • Medical Room
  • Wet Room
  • Photographic Studio
  • Event Space (workshops, private parties etc…)

The suite of studios are located within 5 minutes of the M5 and a short taxi ride away from the train station at Temple Meads, which means that clients from as far as London would only be just over an hour away.

The dungeon will be able to cater for both individuals and groups and almost any kink that you have….and more.  Further events and details will be posted on Twitter, so make sure you follow @M_NikkyFrench to keep up to date with breaking news.

Gothic Dungeon Room

Currently being built, this will feature custom made wood and metal work created in a traditional heavy traditional style and which will allow over-night caging. More kind of manly room than my dungeon.

School Room

The school room will feature a fully functioning classroom, including old school desks, chairs, blackboards and of course teachers desk.  Start learning your homework now…..there could be trouble!

Spanking Event will take place, max 4 slaves as the room only fit 4 Vintage School desk.

Medical Room

Fell like at the hospital, the nurse will look after you… Many Fetish scenario can be play in this room such as :

  • Electro Stimulation
  • Anal Examination
  • Sounding/ Urethral play
  • Breath Play
  • Enema
  • Needles / Permanent Piercings
  • Patient/Naughty Nurse
  • Watersport
  • Milking
  • Mind Game

Wet Room

This is a HUGE wetroom, you can easily fit 6 Mistresses at the same time, imagine how Watersport can be fun. Also perfect for Food splashing and any kind of messy play basically. Perfect for filming with white tiles walls and the bright shiny vinyl flooring.

Photographic Studio & Event Space

Le Bristol SM Studio will also have a photographic studio available for hire on a half day or daily basis in addition to having regular events, including rope jams, where you’ll be able to learn the ancient art of shibari with one of the UK’s most accomplished rope masters… this space.

I’m also planning on having few private parties.

Bookings, Appointments & Rates

The Studio features one bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, internet. It’s possible to hire the place for professional Mistresses who which to tour in South West.

For all enquiries, please call Mistress Nikky French on 07935 068177 or email at for further details.