Spanking – Getting Inside Your Head
What is it that puts you off being spanked? A previous experience, just the thought of pain or even simply thinking that pain can’t be any thing…..but, well, pain and could not be remotely erotic!
Many vanilla couples never take the plunge, as they don’t get to separate and understand the difference between spanking and an erotic spanking. A good old plain spanking has you running for cover and potentially calling the authorities whereas an erotic spanking has you tying yourself to a bed and immediately confessing how bad you’ve been and begging for some liberally applied and well aimed strokes!!
Discovering A New Side to Spanking
For many clients who come to me, often for the first time, tell me they don’t like spanking. It is often because their only memory of being spanked is associated with fear, often from childhood. However, with the right scene setting and taking someone into a different head-space, it can completely change their perception from thinking that spanking = pain to spanking = pain = pleasure. At this point they’re hooked and never look back.
This video on the 101 Guide to Spanking provides some of the basics on spanking:
The Psychology of Spanking
Often, the very thing that affected us deeply as young people, is strangely often expressed in later life as a kink. Slightly perverse you might think, but at the same time and at a very deep level, pain is administered by those who love us and in turn we love the most, whether consensually or not.
When (consensually) we allow us to be subjected to a well-administered spanking, there is a a complete rush of chemicals: endorphins, serotonin, melatonin, epinephrine, and dopamine to name just a few. It’s the bodies way of trying to make us feel good again! The biggest feel good chemical is dopamine (also released when we eat chocolate ) which goes a long way to explain why, as those who have ventured into the world of BDSM, that there exisits that exquisite mix of pain and pleasure, often having us wanting more and more.
On a very different but similar level, it’s very similar to have a very hot curry!! There is often the pain (if you’re really going for it) of the spices on the tongue, but at the same time, it has you running back for more. It takes you to the edge but has you begging for more of the same.
The Submissive Dynamic In Spanking
I always think that at some level the power lies with the submissive, as without their consent there is no D/s dynamic. As a professional Dominatrix, most of my clients are submissives, although where the line is crossed into slavedom is explored in another article “Sub or Slave – When Do You Cross The Line”. They choose the boundaries (most of the time! hehe) and I take them to those boundaries, but often when we get there, they want to go beyond that point, such is the world of BDSM….
So where’s the pleasure? In the same way that chemicals, particularly dopamine create that heady mix of pleasure and pain, so too does the D/s dynamic on a psychological level in the form of submission and humiliation from spanking, which in themselves provide pleasure and pain in equal measure. It’s easy to see that the double hit of both chemical and psychological effects can have on BDSM play and why many of my clients, who once introduced into the world of spanking and corporal punishment under my expert hand, have them begging their Mistress for more!
Working Up a Good Spanking
In the same way you wouldn’t start running without a warm-up, I would never recommend starting a good spanking session with anything but light caresses, massaging and gentle/light slaps to get the blood flowing, skin prepared and your muscles relaxed – all essential things if spankee (person being spanked) is ever going to stand a chance of enjoying the experience.
How to Spank
Where to spank is incredibly important and your strokes (same for all forms of corporal punishment) need to be very well aimed. The picture below gives a really good idea of how and where you should be aiming:
Increasing the Intensity
Different implements and increasing levels of pain, which in turn leave a different trail of evidence!
…..and which in turn leave a different level of afterglow!!…
Depending on the level of expertise of the person spanking (I love all corporal punishment) and particularly in my hands, a client will often say that they only want a light spanking or only want to try spanking, but when they get that first hit of dopamine, they beg me to keep going….often leaving with a set of rosy red cheeks….just as a little reminder of the heady mix of both the pain and pleasure from our session.
Spanking – Assume the Position!!
An often overlooked part of spanking is the position of the submissive. In my Bristol dungeon my special equipment can take you to any level your heart desires! If the position is optimised (often overlooked by the amateur spanker) together with your choice of instrument like a tawse, the combined ‘position & instrument’ rating has no boundaries.
Choose Your Weapon!
How you apply the discipline/spanking, including what you use, how hard you apply the force, the rhythm and combination of other instruments and techniques (like CBT – another favourite of mine!! – I’m a balls fetishist) makes the administering of spanking and all other aspects of corporal punishment a real art and almost a science.
Often combining CP and spanking with things like a rabbit fur flogger (really soft), grabbing a handful of ass or caressing it right after a strike can be almost orgasmic.
So very important but often forgotten. At the end of a hard spanking or CP session, my slaves (and your partners) need to come down from their psychological and chemical high, which can range from a a long conversation (in a professional setting) about what worked and what didn’t and maybe, if you’re more intimate, a good cuddle and comfort food. Most importantly, both D/s should never just walk away from a scene.
Where To From Here?
If you would like me to ‘gently’ introduce you to the world of spanking and corporal punishment, then just call me to talk about your desires and book a session with me. I love working with newbies as much as I do the most experienced submissives looking to really push themselves.
My spanking bench is ready and I’m looking forward to exploring the world of corporal punishment with you!
Even Cats Like a Good Spanking!! (safe word – Meow!!)